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6.4.14

My child my

6th June 2008 I held you in my arms and you were the perfect fit because you did not fall out and neither were you too small. You were just the perfect fit. Growing up you were an intelligent young man one who learnt something and never forgot it. You achieved all your milestones on time. Like I said you were the perfect fit. You woke up one morning you called Daddy, you said juice, you called kaka it was absolutely amazing. Then I knew the next day you would say mummy......
Each day as you grew you showed us how intelligent you are. Your resilience to learn new things however hard they are supercedes anything I have ever seen. You don't forget anything you have learnt, placese you been to or even a particular interest you took on in a certain place. You are that perfect.
Everyday I contradict myself, you ask how so and this is how. One minute I Ask God why me the next minute I thank him for you.  You being in my life has taught me a lot. I am a mind reader, I can tell you are sick by just looking at you, I know when you are hungry or when you hate the food you have just been given. I know when you just want us to chill and look into space or when you want to jump around and be naughty. I know all this because you taught me how to pay attention to you. Sometimes I don't understand you which upsets both of us but we some how get through it. Those people that glare at you when you are not in the mood they dont know you, they dont get you. But I get you, your sister gets you, your dad gets you even more than any of us. So those people will learn one day but it will be too late to come back to you and learn something from you because we will have moved on. Autism is just autism, I can never
Really give you the answers or even try to decipher something as complex as that but you should know it's not something we are worried about because we have each other. You I must say you are the rock star here. Much as we try to make sure you have everything to get you off the spectrum it's you doing all the work really and you are doing a great job. It's your persistence to want to know, learn new things, discover new ways of doing things that pushes us to do more for you. All I am trying to say son is you are special in your own way. We are lucky to have you and you chose right you couldn't have chosen any better parents. Shalom my son shalom

30.9.13

ACHILD'S PRAYER

This morning as i drove he kids to School my Lil miss sunshine tells me she wants to have a word with Jesus. I tell her the only way yo talk to Jesus is through prayer, so she starts her prayer THE PRAYER HELLO JESUS, PLEASE HELP ME, HELP MUMMY, HELP DADDY, HELP RYAN. HELP POLICE, HELP MUGERIA (NIGERIA), HELP KENYA. OKAY SEE YOU LATER BYE AMEN. I think this is the most sincere prayer you can ever hear!

6.4.13

THE LIFE

Woohhhh this place is too dusty and too rusty. Let me clean up and then we take off from wherever.....

5.1.12

NEW YEAR AND THE SO CALLED RESOLUTIONS

I am the kind that puts down a list of things to do and not to do every new year but by the 3rd day of the year everything is forgotten. I happened to stumble upon something that i thought made more sense than my never ending lists.And here it goes.....

There is one key factor that can either damage your relationships or deepen them. That factor is your attitude. If you’re hoping to grow and maintain positive relationships in your life, read on. Below you will find a 20 step attitude adjustment guaranteed to help you do just that.

i will:

1. Stop holding grudges. – Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.

2. Stop complaining. – Instead,i wil use my time and energy to do something about it.

3. Stop meaning what i don’t say. – People can’t read minds. Communicate regularly and effectively.

4. Stop making it all about you. – The world revolves around the sun, not you. Take a moment to acknowledge this truth on a regular basis.

5. Stop lying. – In the long-run the truth always reveals itself. Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.

6. Stop blaming. – Blaming others accomplishes nothing. Either you own your problems, or they will own you. Your choice. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give-up your power over that part of your life, and you annoy everyone around you in the process.

7. Stop doubting. – If you think that you can’t achieve something, I have some news for you, you’re probably right. But don’t let your self-doubt interfere with other people’s dreams. Remember, the one who says it can’t be done should never interrupt the one doing it. (Read Unstoppable.)

8. Stop interrupting. – Correcting someone when they’re blatantly wrong is one thing, but always interjecting your opinions out of turn gets old fast.

9. Stop being selfish. – You get what you put into a relationship. Nothing less, nothing more.

10. Stop judging. – Everyone is fighting their own unique war. You have no clue what they are going through, just like they have no clue what you’re going through.

11. Stop gossiping. – Gossiping about others is a lose/lose situation. It hurts them, and then it hurts your reputation.

12. Stop making promises i can’t keep. – Don’t over-promise. Over-deliver on everything you do.

13. Stop being defensive. – Just because someone sees something differently than you doesn’t mean either one of you is wrong. Keep an open mind. Open minds discover great things.

14. Stop comparing people to others. – No two people are alike. Everyone has their own strengths. We are only competing against our own selves.

15. Stop expecting people to be perfect. – ‘Perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’ And genuine ‘goodness’ is hard to find in this world. Don’t overlook it.

16. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – It’s impossible. But making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.{MOST IMPONTANTLY}

17. Stop screwing people over just because you can get away with it. – Just because you can get away with something doesn’t mean you should do it. Think bigger. Do what you know in your heart is right. (Read Life’s Greatest Lessons.)

18. Stop making mountains out of molehills. – People make mistakes. Crap happens. There’s no reason to stress out yourself and everyone around you because of it. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

19. Stop being dramatic. – Stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.

20. Stop giving out advice, and just listen. – Less advice is often the best advice. People don’t need lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive reinforcement. What they want to know is already somewhere inside of them. They just need time to think, be and breathe, and continue to explore the undirected journeys that will eventually help them find their direction.

*** And remember, your relationship with yourself is the closest and most important relationship you will ever have. So pay attention to it, develop it, nurture it, and never, ever stop

SO HELP ME GOD

6.10.11

IN MEMORY OF STEVE JOBS - RIP

This is an awesome speech

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

5.9.11

THE LITTLE THINGS


They say it's the little things that matter in a relationship and i really wonder what defines little in this case for my friend Delicate Stems a trip to Cabo San Lucas might be the little thing while for The student a shopping spree to milan might be that little thing. You see all these are not little in my case, mine might be sitting in the car and holding hands for 3 hours (Do people still do that? Have they ever done that anyway?). So when someone says it is those little things that matter what do they mean? Little in whose eyes? is it in the one that is doing them or the one they are doing for? I once overheard a conversation between two women where one was complaining about the husband not taking her to dinner on valentines but instead cooked at home and set up their sitting room as a restaurant and served her the whole evening. Her friend then told her it would have been perfect for her instead of the boat cruise her and her hubby went for.... I thought these women should trade lives!!!!!!!!!!!
So now that the little things matter does that mean that the big ones don't?
In my case little or big it doesn't matter, if someone comes out of their way to do the big things why dwell on wanting the little ones? Does it matter anyway if they are big or little? The thought is what counts and the fact that someone thought of you and did even the smallest thing like calling to check on you we should be grateful.

Lesson for today every thought counts no matter how big/little the gesture might be we should be thankful....

18.8.11

THE 'MAKE-DO' WOMAN

I read this somewhere and thought i could share. To the owner of the original post please note that i am not copying your work so no suing here




THE 'MAKE-DO' WOMAN

When I was preparing to get married, I started getting all sorts of advice especially at bridal showers and things like that from family and friends. But one of the most interesting 'lessons' came from a woman I met for the first time, just a few weeks before the big day.

She said, Honey, whatever you do, don't ever let yourself become a "make-do woman", I had no idea what she meant, but, of course, she was about to explain.
She continued, 'men' don't deny themselves anything. Whatever they want to buy, they buy. Whatever they want to do, they do. Meanwhile, there is the wife, making do with her hair not being done, gaining weight not taking care of our health, her clothes from yesteryear, her nails in need, never had a pedicure, scraping the bottom of her tube of lipstick! Oh, I could go on and on with how ' we' make do.

And why? Because the car needs fixing, this bill is behind, we have to use our time to take care of this, or take care of that; we're saving for this, working, cooking, cleaning, raising, etc. She warned me to never become a make-do woman, because she says if you start, it is hard to stop and one could easily find themselves making-do for the rest of their lives.
I vowed it would never happen to me. I didn't think much more of the conversation until one day, I began to take notice, she was right.
Men are a lot better at being good to themselves. Some call it being selfish, there has to be another word for it. Tell me if you know.

Whatever you call it. It does have its place. When they want to play ball, or golf, or fish, they go! When they want to buy clothes, or equipment, or video games, or whatever their 'thing' is, they buy! Have you ever tried to stop one? Has anyone
ever been able to stop one? Let me know! When I look around, I see a whole heap of make-do women, married or not, with or without children, they are all over the place!

I have decided that I am going to make my best effort to become a 'make-time' woman! I will make the time to do what I need
to do to be good to myself, whether that's a trip to the salon, or the gym or the mall. This time I'm going to take a lesson from the guys!

All right ladies, single and married... Let's NOT be 'MAKE-DO' Women!
Let's LOVE OURSELVES and ENCOURAGE each other! Pass it on!
It's something we could all appreciate

It is time for a change , I am not saying men shouldn't take time for themselves, I am saying we are stupid for not taking more time for ourselves !!!
Don't let yesterday take up too much of today!